Sharp Words

Did you miss me? I’m sorry I told you to get lost three hours and forty-two minutes ago, but I wasn’t in my right mind. I had just opened my mailbox to find Private Arrangements waiting for me, and, of course, I had to read it.

Now that I’ve read it, I wish I hadn’t liked it quite so much. Perhaps then I wouldn’t have read it so quickly. And if I hadn’t read it so quickly, I would have had more time to enjoy it.

Private Arrangements is a grand book. Really, that’s the only word I can think of to describe it, except, perhaps, “delicious” and Delicious happens to be the title of Sherry Thomas’s next book, which I will be buying the day it comes out in August, 2008, so I really should conserve that word for further use this summer. And speaking of this summer, expect another terse blog post telling you to go away. I apologize, in advance, for my future rudeness, but if today was any indication, I won’t be in my right mind.

I should start by saying, this is not a review. I’m lousy at reviewing, and I’m suspect, besides, since Sherry Thomas wrote a lovely double review of my novellas Ember and Like a Thief in the Night for Dear Author back in January which probably sold more copies of Like a Thief than all of my confused, sorry little attempts to promote the story, combined. But please don’t think I am biased just because I have reason to be, because if you do, you will miss out on one of the best historical romances ever. Ever!

Read the rest of this entry »

First off, a few warnings.

1. Ann Aguirre has given me money. Not to review this book, but to make a promotional bookmark. Grimspace had been on my Must Read list for quite a while, and I was so eager to read it that I asked Ann to include an ARC as part of my payment. That’s me. I Will Work for Good Reads.
2. The lovely cover of Grimspace may appear innocuous, but don’t be fooled. It is made of flypaper. Pick it up, and it will be glued to your hand until you turn the last page. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
3. I’ve tried to write my thoughts on Grimspace without going off on a tangent about the Romance genre, what it is, where it’s going, and what it should be. I tried, really, but this addictive, fast-paced picaresque sci-fi action-adventure novel is also a damned good romance novel. And for me, it highlights things I want from Romance, but don’t often get.

The Book
The episodic plot of Grimspace follows interstellar navigator Sirantha Jax as she is broken out of prison by a rag-tag band of mercenaries out to end the Farwan Corporation’s monopoly on interstellar travel by setting up their own navigator academy, with Jax as the instructor. The group travels from place to place, usually leaving destruction in their wake. But as the book progresses, the action-packed journey through space becomes secondary to Jax’s emotional journey from the crash that killed her lover–a crash for which she has been blamed and imprisoned, and for which she blames herself–through grief, peace, and into love with her new pilot, March. March and Jax are both broken people in the process of putting themselves back together after tragic events and misspent lives. The touching thing about their story is that they know each other’s faults and strengths, and fall in love not despite this knowledge, but because of it.

Jax is a complicated, twisty pragmatist. She’s not lovable, noble or sweet, but she’s real in a way that makes her story compelling, and the ending emotionally satisfying. We see the action from inside her head in first-person present tense. You may think you have problems reading first-person present tense, but Aguirre’s novel will convince you that you don’t. The narrative style is much like Jax herself–tough, unflinching, immediate, and marbled through with lovely threads of imagery and phrasing that linger in your mind after you’ve turned the page, after you’ve closed the cover.

Possessor of the mysterious and rare “J” gene, Jax facilitates interstellar travel by guiding ships through grimspace with the help of a pilot. During the trip through grimspace, the pilot and navigator are mentally linked, bound up in each other’s heads, privy to the other’s private thoughts. When I closed the cover on Grimspace, I felt like Jax was tangled up in my thoughts, too. Great characters stay with you like that, and right now, Jax is sharing space in a corner of my brain with some of my other favorite first-person narrators like Hammett’s nameless Continental Op, Mosley’s Easy Rawlins, Baird’s Cass, Banbury’s Jill, and Carey’s Phedre. (They all hate each other, of course, but pass the time playing poker while they wait for me to reread their books.)

Maybe I’m just a sucker for flawed heroes and heroines, but characters like Jax and March are something I’d like to see more of in the romance genre. People do not have to be perfect to fall in love. Heroines do not have to be selfless martyrs to be worthy of love, heroes don’t have to save the day every time to be macho or attractive.

But for all my talk of romance, Grimspace, still works as a straight-up sci-fi genre novel. Aguirre’s imagined universe is a diverse, vast, violent, wide-open wild west of a setting, corrupt, confusing, and stuffed with possibilities. Good genre novels are often praised as “transcending genre” which is a backhanded complement if ever I’ve heard one. Grimspace doesn’t transcend the genre, it expands it. It fucks with gender stereotypes, and genre expectations, providing both the kick-ass action adventure you’d expect from a traditional action sci-fi tale, and emotional introspection, and a newfangled type of romance.

With its flawed, fascinating protagonist, its science fiction setting, and its blend of action, adventure and romance, Grimspace is not for strict genre traditionalists, for readers who like perfect heroes, or for the faint of heart*. It’s not perfect, but I thought it was one hell of a read–engrossing, entertaining, exciting. Aguirre has written a sequel, and I’m already brainstorming ways to get my grubby mitts on an advance copy.
*edited to clarify who “everyone” might be.

Wow, Part 1: Demon Night
I just finished the ARC of MelJean Brook’s Demon Night that I won from Dear Author. I’m still gathering my thoughts on it–there’s a lot of plot, and backstory, and detail. I don’t know quite what I think of Demon Night but I am certain of two things:

1. Meljean Brook can write.
   Really. The opening of chapter one was a marvel of pacing and deftly placed detail. It sucked me in, and made me want to reread it a few more times just to admire it.
2. I want to read Brook’s other books.
   Not just because this book was jam-packed with characters from earlier novels, but because I want to read something that’s not quite so full of characters and ongoing plot and backstory. As a newbie reader jumping in on the third (?) book, I gotta say, Brook handled all those elements extremely well. But her big, complex world full of angels, demons, guardians, vampires, secret government agencies, prophecies, and conspiracies is like a hot bath–it’s enjoyable, but it’s also something you want to ease into.

Wow, Part 2: Sundial
I picked up my copy of Carrie Lofty’s Sundial a couple of days ago. It’s a novella, and a damned good deal at $3. Sure, it’s only 67 pages, but there is at least 250 pages worth of longing, tension and angst packed into those pages. Plus, vespas! Also, a hero with a little moral ambiguity, 1950’s Italy, and the loveliest final line I’ve read in a great long while.

I ought to get some blogging mileage out of the eBooks I’ve read. But, I’m lazy, and I procrastinate. Sometimes it just so difficult to put my completely arbitrary and fickle opinions in print. So here’s part 1 of a round up of eBooks I’ve read lately–Short and Sweet. Or, pleasantly tart. Or, like aspartame , with an aftertaste that some people don’t mind but other people find foul. Anyway, short.

Up this round: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee, Boundless by Dean, Dee, & Galace, Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde.

1. Natural Law, by Joey W. Hill
   I’ve heard so very, very many good things about this book, I had to give it a try. If you’ve been under an even more obscure rock than the one I was under, and haven’t heard of this book, I’ll warn you, it’s a BDSM Romance. Given that my stories tend to be a little–shall we say, violent?–you may think it strange when I say that while I found this book to be wildly romantic, I did not find it hot. Ok, maybe a little.

   Thing is I’m not fond of rules in books, because that makes for a lot of ’splaining. And these BDSM people, apparently they have rules, rules, rules. Which, given the sorts of things they do with (and put into) each other is probably a very good thing. Anyway, Hill manages a pretty non-intrusive primer on the subculture her characters inhabit, but that sort of exposition is a stunt which less talented writers should not practice without benefit of a spotter and a net.

   So, teh secks? Not so much. But the romance–the Romance!! Joey W. Hill rocks. The two main characters, they have to get all psychological and shit, finding each other’s boundaries, and learning to trust. And there’s a BDSM psycho killer on the loose. But never mind the psycho killer. It’s the boundaries/trust/emotion thing going on with the protagonists that makes this book riveting, emotional, wildly romantic, and–dare I say it?–sweet. Rating: Sweet as Pure Cane(d) sugar.

   

2. Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee*
   It takes some kind of chutzpah to set a short, sweet, hopeful romance in poverty-stricken 1930s Appalachia. And let me tell you, friends, Bonnie Dee puts the C&H in chutzpah! Not only did she set her romance in rather depressing (pun intended) era, she made it an erotic romance. And then, girlfriend made her hero a minister! Oooh. Ladies and gentleman, can the Amazing Ms Dee pull off such an astounding feat of Romance-writing daring-do?

   She sure as hell can. And then some. Dee has the chops to back up her nerve. Blackberry Pie is sweet, emotional and hot. Rating: (You knew this was coming) Sweet as Pie.

3. Boundless, by Dean, Dee, Galace
   Usually, anthologies are like a box of assorted chocolates–there’s at least one you won’t like. Not so, this anthology. It was like a box of Godiva Truffles, where even the confection I liked least, was still very tasty.Seven Days by Annie Dean
   My favorite of the bunch was Annie Dean’s Seven Days. Theresa, an aspiring nun about to take her vows when a sexy devil named Dev tries to tempt her to forgo her vows, and with them, her immortal soul. What a gem! Like Godiva’s Dark Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, every element of this story came together to create a treat of pure perfection. Short stories often seem too short, but Seven Days was just right–sweet, nuanced and rich.

   The Straw Man by Bonnie Dee
   A thirty-something rural woman’s unwitting wish transforms a scarecrow into the man of her dreams for a single night, but they want to stay together forever. Short and sweet. Despite the brief timespan of the novel, Dee manages to make the Romance believable. This one was like Godiva’s Dark Chocolate Truffle. Tasty and sweet, it hit the spot.

   Waking Kitty by Dionne Galace
   I have to admit, I was hooked by this story way back when Bam posted the first chapter in the writing samples section of her website. When hard drinking, skeptical old fashioned reporter Jack meets pink-haired waitress Kitty, strange things start happening. The first chapter is a knockout, but the rest of the story feels rushed. Of the three, this is the story I felt should have been longer. The love story kind of gets squashed in between Kitty’s journey of self-discovery and all the crazy happenings. It’s kinda like Godiva’s Dark Chocolate Key Lime Truffle–the delicious tartness is often too much for the thin shell of chocolate surrounding it.
   
   

4. Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde*
   You may not know this, but I ::heart:: Elvis. And I ::superheart:: Elvis impersonators. But now that you do know this, you won’t be surprised when I squee! like a thirteen year old fangirl after a pack of pixie sticks about Veronica Wilde’s Hunk of Burning Love. But please don’t write the book off because of my fandom. Hunk of Burning Love is a fun, well-rounded short story. You should read it. Rating:Fried Peanutbutter and banana sandwich, with honey on top. Mmmm!

Up next time: The Dragon Knight by Summer Devon, Hard to Guard by Nina Mamone and Blood Will Tell by December Quinn.

*Just to note, in addition to my usual arbitrary biases, my first novella, Like a Thief in the Night will be part of Samhain’s Strangers in the Night anthology along with stories by Bonnie Dee and Veronica Wilde. For me, this is cause to celebrate because my story is appearing alongside the work of two such mahvellous writers. For you, you may decide this compromises the integrity of my review.

If so, please remember the following:

1. I never claimed to be impartial.
2. I am being honest about how much I like those books.
3. This is Not a Review.

Skin to Skin by Dionne Galace
Dionne Galace (aka Bam of It’s Not Chick Porn) has been entertaining me for quite some time with her hilarious and highly-entertaining blog posts. So when her novella “Skin to Skin” came out, buying it was pretty much automatic. The woman is funny, and the writing samples on her site are intriguing, too.

Full Disclosure: Bam’s having a contest, and anyone who links to her site is eligible to win. Which is what inspired me to get off my ass and write a Not a Review.

Synopsis: In the midst of a San Diego heatwave, Leilani lusts after her neighbor Oliver, and his big, enticing swimming pool. Ollie’s recovering from a bullet wound in a sensitive region, and Leilani’s skimpy outfits and blatant overtures are making him very uncomfortable.

So here’s what I liked about it:
1) Biracial Heroine, yay! Honestly, we brown girls just love to see brown girls in print–especially when those brown girls are hot and self-confident. Also, Leilani is the sort of heroine who knows what she wants and goes for it.
2) Fun, contemporary writing style. Can I tell you how many novels I’ve read where the characters are in their mid-twenties, but talk like forty-year olds? Actually, I can’t. It happens so often, I’ve lost count. The characters in Skin to Skin actually sound like post Gen X soCal residents. And as a post-GenX soCal resident, I appreciate and applaud that.
3) Hot! Skin to Skin has hot weather, a hot hero, and hot hot hot love love scenes.
Here’s what I didn’t like about it:
a) Too short. I think that’s my complaint about both of the novellas in this installment of “This is Not a Review”. Too. Damn. Short.
b) Not a whole lot of character development going on. But, hey, it’s a novella. See item “a” above: Too. Damn. Short.
c) The word “weeping” used as an adjective for an organ other than the eye. Personal pet peeve. The fact that I kept reading past it proves point 3, above: Hot!

Rating: Everstar 8000 BTU Portable Air-Conditioner. Just the thing to cool off after a hot read.

Learning Charity by Summer Devon
I think I’ve read most or all of Summer Devon’s (aka Kate R’s) ebooks. And every one of her books has had really great characters. Learning Charity is really damn short, but Devon does a great job of fleshing out her characters and making them likable. I don’t know how she does it. Maybe I need to read the novella again, for research. Purely academic research. And not because this novella is H-O-T. Even though it is. Really. Hot.

Synopsis: In nineteenth century England, Charity is a daughter of the gentry fallen on hard times. Forced to make her living as Cherry the whore, she is less than enthusiastic about the duties of her profession until she meets American, Elliot Stevens.

What I liked:
1) Devon’s got chops. Her writing style is always engaging, even in this very short story. Her afore-mentioned talent for characters gives the story an emotional depth I didn’t expect from a short story.
2) I believe I may have mentioned this a time or two in my intro: Hot.
What I didn’t like:
a) Too. Damn. Short. Really. Learning Charity is basically a one-set, one-act play. I wouldn’t have minded seeing the characters in different scenes and circumstances.

Rating: How did people keep cool back in the old days? Painted fans and lemonade. This read gets 3 Fans (One for each hand, and a very agile foot.) And a straw so you can drink your lemonade. You’ll need it.

I’ve got a couple more ebooks on the old hard drive, so, if you like arbitrary non-reviews, watch this space for: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee.

Wired, by Liz Maverick
Other people who have read this book–people who write actual reviews and not just arbitrary judgments, como yo –have noted that this book really isn’t a romance, and I agree. Wired is more of a Sci-Fi adventure than it is a romance–not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except, of course, that if a book is billed as a romance, other readers might expect it to be about, you know, romance.

Synopsis: Roxanne is walking to 7-11 one night when two men appear in the street and start fighting with each other–over her. One of them is Mason Merrick, Roxanne’s old roommate’s hot ex boyfriend, and the other is Leonardo Kayser, a suave Englishman of dubious moral virtue. Mason and Leonardo are “wire-crossers” from the future who can reroute events in the past to alter the reality of the present. Both men want a piece of code that our girl Rox hasn’t even written yet.

Roxanne feels some attraction for both men, but there’s never any doubt as to who she’ll end up with. And, as most of the story revolves around Roxy’s attempts to understand the whole wire-crossing thing and take charge of her destiny, there’s not so much room for romance, anyway.

Maverick’s writing style is fast-paced and engaging. Roxanne is a likable first-person narrator but the story suffers from some of the common downfalls of first-person POV: a vague sense of setting and secondary characters that never really come to life. The story was a good read, and though the narrative pulled me along, it never quite pulled me in.

Wired made for great vacation reading, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for the paperback equivalent of a mid-tier summer action movie.

Rating: On a scale of 2007 Summer Action Movies, with Fantastic 4 being the worst and The Bourne Ultimatum being the best, Wired, by Liz Maverick would be…

Don’t expect fairness and objectivity ’cause I haven’t got either. Descriptions are half-assed, my taste is mercurial, and ratings are assigned entirely by whim.

Karma Girl by Jennifer Estep

First things first, I saw the first chapter of this book on a critique group site quite a while ago. I liked it then, I like it now. It’s good to see folks make good.

Synopsis: In a World Where…every town has its own superheroes and ubervillains, plucky investigative reporter Carmen Cole climbs the ladder of journalistic success from Beginnings, Tennesse to Bigtime, New York by exposing the secret identities of every superhero and ubervillain she can find. Then her activities cause one of the heroes she’s exposed to commit suicide and she gets demoted to society reporter.

An ubervillain orders Carmen to discover the identity of the leader of the local superhero group (who hates her on account of the suicide she caused), or face a fate worse than death. Guess who the hero of this story is. Opposites attract. Doomed love ensues. Karma Girl saves the day.

Over all, I liked this book. The Incredibles plays the comic book parody better than Estep does - but I can’t blame anyone for falling short of Brad Bird. (Yes, that sound you just heard was me sighing like a schoolgirl whilst thinking of the writing/directing prowess of Brad Bird.) I liked the world Estep set up, and I am impressed that she managed to think up so many alliterative names for the characters (+ Clark Kent approved: Superman Comics #1). Also, I adore the town names.

Carmen’s first-person narration draws the story along at a pretty good clip (+Flash Comics #1 a fast, fun read) . The romance is sweet but the love scenes are also written in the first-person, which is a very tricky thing to do (-not quite Superman, but close: Jimmy Olsen, Superman’s Pal #111) . I am also willing to admit that first-person love scenes kind of creep me out.

While, as stated above, I generally liked this book, I have to mention that Estep, as a writer, totally hit one of my pet peeves. Specifically, she uses race as description (-What happens when racial stereotypes form a team of superheroes? New Guardians #1).

Here is Estep’s description of one of the side-kick characters, Henry Harris,

“The black man smiled at me and went back to his computer.” p.25

Estep describes his clothes, his age, his glasses, but she can’t just throw in a line about what the fellow actually looks like? Is his face round or long? Does he have dark skin, light skin, freckles? What color is his hair? What color are his eyes?

Also,

• “I stopped at the black man’s desk…” p. 52
• “The black man tugged at his bow tie….” p.135
  

One (dubious) point in Estep’s favor, The Black Man does not use slang.

Estep occasionally describes another sidekick character as “the Asian girl”, though, to be fair, she does give that character a more thorough description by using words like “skinny” , “young”, “pretty”, “heart-shaped face” and “almond-shaped eyes”. See, that’s not so hard to do, is it?

• “The Asian girl’s face grew guarded.” p.56
• “The Asian girl reluctantly took it…” p. 57

She never once refers to any of the other characters as “the white man” or “the European woman”. Oh, and in case you couldn’t guess, as the only two minority characters, the Black Man and the Asian Girl, hook up thanks to the heroine.

In conclusion: The book was a fun fast read except that Jennifer Estep landed on one of my major pet peeves. I do realize that this pet peeve probably won’t hinder other readers’ enjoyment of the book as it did for me. I would probably read another of Estep’s books, but I’d get it from the library. Ms. Estep’s not getting another dime from me until she learns that race is NOT a description.

Rating: If Karma Girl by Jennifer Estep were one of the actors who has played Batman in the Batman movies, with Michael Keaton being the best and George Clooney (sorry George) as the worst. Karma Girl would be:

Christian Bale

Hot and fun, but ultimately hampered by something that annoys me (a.k.a. Katie Holmes).

Oh, who am I kidding. I just wanted to link to a picture of Christian Bale.

As with all my (not a) reviews, descriptions are half-assed, my taste is mercurial, and ratings are assigned entirely by whim.

In most Fantasy novels, if chapter one introduces the main character mucking out stables or scrubbing pots in the kitchen, you can bet your subscription to Everquest that Young Humble Stableboy/Scullerygirl won’t be holding that menial position for long. In no time at all, YHS/S will fall in with Interesting Company, discover a Hidden Talent, undertake a Great Journey and become an Important Person.

If a Fantasy novel also happens to be an erotic romance, the Great Journey may traipse through the bedroom, the linen closet, the dungeon, and various anatomically challenging positions before YHS/S becomes an Important Person and gets his/her hornily ever after, but the basic premise is the same.

But if the author of that Fantasy erotic romance is Summer Devon (aka Kate Rothwell), you can expect tired tropes and genre conventions to be twisted, turned on their heads, and tickled ’til they beg for mercy. This is, after all, the author whose cursed-to-be invisible heroine actually had some fun. Devon also dared to write a story with a virgin hero.

[You have earned the Chalice of Chutzpah, +5 Hit Points]

Revealing Skills by Summer Devon
Synopsis: Tabica is a Young Humble Slave in the castle of a mean baron. When she helps shape-changing escaped prisoner Gilrohan hide from the baron, shenanigans and sexin’ ensue. Like every good little fantasy heroine, Tabica has heretofore unrealized magical talents. And since this Fantasy tale is also an erotic romance, I’m sure you can guess what and who it takes to bring those talents to light.

The Summer Devon novels I’ve read have all had a sort of easy-going good nature. She doesn’t go in for overwrought drama or dark whiny angst, and I find that pretty damned refreshing.

[You have earned the Plot that Refreshes, +23 Health Points]

Where another author might have played the very played out “beauty and the beast” angle of the shape-changer trope, Devon’s take reads like an ex-rated retelling of an extra-hijinky episode of Bewitched.

[You have earned the Helmet of Hijinkiness, +12 Hit Points]

Devon strikes a good balance with setting, deftly sketching an world that is unique enough to draw you in and familiar enough to keep you reading, but is never cliche. As always, her main characters are appealing and likable from the start. Tabica and Gilrohan could easily exist in a story that didn’t feature shape-changers and magic.

[You have discovered the Wand of Worldbuilding and the Cape of Character, +9 Defense Points]

The first chapter pulled me right in. Gilrohan changes into a rat in order to escape the mean baron’s dungeon. Tabica recognizes Gilrohan-the-rat as a shape-changing morphlange and saves him when he gets caught by a servant. Lucky for Gilrohan, and for the reader’s delicate sensibilities, he changes back into a man when Tabica touches him.

The two feel an immediate, inexplicable attraction to each other, and proceed to act on it throughout the book.

[You have been struck by the Arrow of Inexplicable Attraction, -8 Health Points]

The problem is, while our two lovers’ appetites stay hot, the story itself sort of looses steam after the first few* chapters.

[You have become lost in the Fjords of Fiznuckin', -9 Health Points]

The complication that keeps the lovers apart feels contrived. Toward the end of the story, Tabica gains an irrational admirer and comes down with a case of magical who-ha .

[You have been cursed with the Codpiece of Cliche, -2 Hit Points]

Devon is a gifted writer with talent for creating realistic, relatable characters while turning genre conventions on their collective ear. Revealing Skills starts strong and is consistently readable, but it is rather disappointing to watch an interesting, inventive beginning wander into mediocrity.

Rating:

* Note, originally, the linked portion of the review read “first two chapters”, but the version I read had an extra-long chapter two. I believe the chapters of the final versions are different.

This is not a review of Hells Belles by Jackie Kessler. If you want a review, mosey over to Mrs. Giggles’ Romance Novel Central or Bam’s site. As with other entries in this series, which were also not reviews, all descriptions are half-assed and ratings are assigned wholly by whim.

Synopsis: Immortal succubus demon Jezebel goes AWOL from Hell after a bureaucratic reorganization of the Inferno repurposes her skillset to an emotionally unfulfilling post. She tricks a witch into making her appear human and heads to New York City to strip, shop and narrate her story in witty, sarcastic first person prose studded with country music and 2002-era pop-cultural references.

As Bam noted in her review, this book reads more like chick lit than romance - but fear not! Hell’s Belles avoids the most annoying cliches of the genre, borrowing only the sex-positive (+ 2 crisp fives, tucked politely in the side strap), girl-bonding (+ a 20% tip), uncomfortable footwear (-$10 per warm domestic beer) aspects. A classy rhinestone-studded pair of 7″ Clear Heels to Jezebel because she never says, “I can’t help but wonder…” .

Refreshing fact: This book is delightfully angst-free.

I really like how Jezebel is completely not guilty about sex or stripping, or pretty much anything (+ 1 hour in the Champagne Room) . She also deviates from her chick lit sisteren in that she’s not so much neurotic as clueless about certain human emotions. Yes, she does some dumb-ass stuff that seems to happen solely to move the plot along, but Jesse is a likable narrator, and it’s easy to forgive her these tiny flaws when she’s got so much else going for her.

Like many a chick lit, the romance in this book is pretty underdeveloped. I don’t quite get what Jezebel sees in her true love, nor, what he sees in her. Still, this being a paranormal tale, we poor readers do get some sort of explanation about fate, and people who were “meant to be together” during the chunk-o-exposition toward the end of the book. Like that’s supposed to help ( -$25 copay for Valtrex prescription) .

Good/bad news is, this is first in a series (-$25 copay for refills - serialized novels are a gift that keeps on giving), so more detailed characterizations and explanations may be forthcoming.

Hell’s Belles is well-written, fun, fast and endearingly predictable. I’m not quite sure it’s worth the $15 over-sized paperback format, but otherwise I have no complaints. Also, I adore Jackie Kessler’s website design (+ a brand new $20, still warm from the ATM) even if it does feature a blog by her novel’s main character (-$4 ATM surcharge).

Rating: 36-24-36 (Only if she’s 5′3″).

What did I do this weekend? Aside from too much time spent on the more dilatory sections of Southern California’s highway system, I read a little. Okay, a lot. Time to get some blogging mileage out of that reading by not reviewing that book. As with other entries, which were also not reviews, descriptions are half-assed and ratings are assigned wholly by whim.

Magic Study, by Maria V. Snyder
Synopsis:Part two of what I hope will be a three-book, and not a five-book, series finds our intrepid heroine, Yelena (see, this time, I remembered her name) once again making a few friends and many enemies while reuniting with her long-lost family and discovering still more hidden strengths and magical talents. Oh, and fighting a serial killer (-2 smileys for an unoriginal villain), and the pissed-off sister of the villain from the last book(-5 smileys for not-so-twisty plot twists that I have to spoiler tag), and a lost prince, and a(nother) sadistic soldier who wants payback because Yelena kicked his ass (-10 smileys for using a character almost identical to the B-plot antagonist of the first book).

From start to finish, this book was more of the same. Which barely slowed me down, as I devoured the thing cover-to-cover in one sitting. Like Poison Study, this book was a fun, fast read that left me wanting more. (+4.75 smileys for nicotine-like addictiveness, -1 smiley for sequel bait). When the first serving is good, why pass up seconds?

Rating: Ѱ+ (The Cyrillic alphabet is so underutilized in modern grading systems, don’t you think?)

Kate R. was kind enough to give my previous Not a Review a shout out in her blog, so I thought I’d write one for one of her alter-ego, Summer Devon’s books that I read a while back. In keeping with the theme of the book, all ratings and asides are invisible.

Invisible Touch, by Summer Devon
Synopsis: This is a story about an attractive woman who is cursed to be invisible to any man whom she finds attractive. Instead of incessantly whining and weeping about it, Bonnie, the heroine, does everything I’d do in the same situation, short of larceny (+1776 points for taking advantage of invisibility, -1066 points for lack of larceny). Bonnie thinks Jared is hot, so, of course, he can’t see her. But does Bonnie let this get her down for long? Oh, no. Comedy and invisible hotness ensue (+1967 points for invisible nookie). Also, Devon doesn’t just bring the funny (+1989 points for the funny), she delivers it steaming hot to your door in thirty minutes, or your funny is free. The scene where Bonnie used her relative invisibility to mess with the villain had me laughing out loud.

Invisible Touch was short, sweet, and tons of fun. Rating: 8 thumbs up (A fact known only by my music instructors and the owner of that Hallmark shop: I really am all thumbs).