On Romance: Comfortable Silences
Happy Valentine’s Day. This post is on Romance–not the stuff we write about or read about, but the way it is.
My husband and I go out to eat fairly often. Much of the time we sit in silence. One dinner out we said about three sentences to each other during the whole meal. At the table next to us, a college-aged couple was having a date–first or second by the sound of it (yes, I was shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation). When the couple got up from their table, the girl gave me this weird, pitying look, like there was something sad about a couple sitting together and not saying anything.
Maybe for other people there is something sad in silence, but not for us. If you’ve met me in person, you know that I’m a talker–a nervous talker. The more nervous I am, the more I talk. And being in public makes me nervous, so, as a result, I tend to talk a lot. My husband, he is the tall, silent type. He’s the exact opposite of me in that he doesn’t talk much in public, though he’s very talkative in private and with friends.
One of the many, many things I love about my man, one thing I don’t get with anyone else, is that I don’t feel like I have to talk when I’m with him. We talk all the time about many random and ridiculous subjects, but because we want to, not because I feel like I have to. I can sit with him and be quiet, and be utterly at ease. We have comfortable silences.
For Valentine’s Day, I don’t want poetry or flowers or candy. I just want to sit next to him and lean my head on his shoulder, and not say anything except, “I love you.”
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February 14th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Hand in the air for “nervous talker.” And I’ll raise my hubby’s hand in the air for “silent in public.” Sometimes I’m afraid that he and I aren’t capable of functioning like a normal couple, during those rare times when we’re without the kids. We sit in silence. We enjoy the food or the atmosphere. But it takes a minute for us to find our couple selves when we’re on our own.
February 15th, 2008 at 8:41 am
I remember being that girl once upon a time, pitying people for having nothing to say. But when you’re a little kid, you think adults talking all the time looks boring. The kid’s got a point.